If you were a patient at Eastern State School & Hospital (located in PA) please get in touch with me via: e-mail (click on view my profile and you'll see the link).I am looking to connect with residents to share stories and to find a few lost friends that are very dear to me.I will be sharing my thoughts and stories about my stay there during the late 80's, I will be posting first names only on this blog as I recall them.If you have anything to constribute e-mail me and I will post it for you.

Monday, May 3, 2010

My first day and seeing an old face...

I don't know why I can remember the details of my first day but forget dates and names. If I knew the names that would help out a great deal in searching for my friends, although I do remember some of them.

I remember leaving North Western Institute of Psychiatry (after a 2 year stay), I said my good byes, and my DHS worker drove me to ESSH. It was a nice day out, had to be Spring or early summer. I was scared, as I've always was after all I did develop friendships and I was being forced to move once again. I remember what scared me move than being moved, it was the name of the place, my worker told me as we were in the car. The name State and hospital put all sorts of bad thoughts into my head, I was thinking to myself, what did you get yourself into this time? How am I going to get out of this, I had no family or friends outside the institutions to run to, where would I go? Before I came up with an answer I was on ESSH property.

I remember entering the main building and being greeted by a few security guards who showed me and my social worker to the proper office (admissions) shortly after that I was escorted to my new home (Durham Cottage) for young boys, it was shortly before lunch time and the cottage was in the middle of quiet time. I was in the office answering questions meeting with the cottage's director, and all of a sudden I heard a loud noice of people running and yelling headed toward the kitchen (it was lunch time and the food was delivered to the cottage for whatever reason that day, instead of being eatten in the cafeteria). I asked the staff are they always this loud? She answered, "it's lunch" She asked them to calm down and I remember her telling the kids, you boys want to know what Michael just said? He asked if you were always this loud, so maybe you can take a hint and lower your volume. (I'm thinking to myself, what is this lady doing, it's my first day and I'm going to get my butt kicked, but I didn't after all)
The place I previously came from North Western, was a very controlling institution and I wasn't use to so much freedom and acting out by others, so it was a big shock to me!

My first night there I was pretty scared, so much noice, a few kids talking back to staff, which I've seen before but not to this degree. I was a fish out of water! I didn't sleep well that night, I had my own room which helped a little as I didn't trust anybody yet. The morning came, it was a little hectic, but I didn't make any trouble and listened to the staff when I was told to wake up.
The Cafeteria was a short walk away from the cottage, I was little nervouse not knowing what to expect, I walked in and to the right of me I heard a voice, "hey Mike how's it going?" It was my old friend Joe K., we both did time at Northwestern, I left shortly after he did, but seeing Joe again I was happy. Joe and I been through a lot and knowing he was there to made things a lot easier. Joe was a little older than I was, had a pretty crappy life like me, but we got along great.
I've never seen this guy break down and cry, at North Western that was a normal thing. I think Joe gave up early on in life and the only thing he had left was the fight, thus he didn't give in and never cried, (acted up time to time, but thats it). I always looked up to him because he was tough, nothing seem to bother him and I wanted to be like that!